What happens when you mix alcohol, drugs, and a group of unsuspecting users? The best night in their lives AND Gossip Guy history, of course!
Maintenance crew for the famous Bellagio fountains encountered sexy professor Randall Lexington on top of a mattress floating in the quintessential Vegas landmark.
Buck naked!
Whenever he was reached and they attempted to remove him from the water, he would try to paddle away using his hands while saying that he wanted his heart to go on to Celine Dion!
And where exactly was his chipmunk of a girlfriend?
Eli Lexington and Zachary Percy attempted to declare their love before the state of Nevada by trying to get married in The Little White Chapel! Witnesses say they were seen holding hands, smooching and swaying from side to side.
We always figured there was something funky gay about Eli!
However, since it is technically illegal to marry same sex partners in Nevada, Eli had to comfort his broken gay heart with none other than Michaela Stokes, Randall’s blonde bombshell girlfriend!
Oh yes!
After the wedding was a no go and Randall was too busy belting a mash up between “My Heart Will Go On” and “Singing In The Rain” at the fountains, Eli and Michaela’s lips and genitals met for the first time!
According to the source, they made out on every corner of the hotel and ran as quickly as their drunken bodies would allow to the elevator and that’s the last time they were seen!
OUCH.
Well, we had heard that the Lexingtons shared EVERYTHING!
While Eli couldn’t revive his father’s tradition, one of his brothers sure did! And with a blonde no less!
Meet Aria Milazzo, fiancée of Isaac James Weiss AND the new Mrs. Jack Lexington!
An Elvis impersonator married Aria and Jack while Patrick Delton and Belle Marie Weiss served as best man and maid of honor respectively!
We personally expected Jack to get hitched to Belle but… we guess not?!
Witnesses say they were talking bitching and moaning all night about how their respective lives sucked. While it is not clear who had the brilliant idea, Aria was heard screaming “He’s gonna give me a ring!” over and over while Jack laughed his ass off.
OH BOY.
A source let us know that after the wedding, Aria said she’d always wanted to have a honeymoon in Venice and proceeded to pass out inside one of the gondolas in the canal inside the Venetian Hotel.
What about Jack you ask?
Bestie Belle replaced her best friend at the wedding party AND night!
SPICY!
As for bodacious Bianca Milazzo, she disappeared for hours upon hours!
Some say that Zachary tried to kiss her but she went all karate kid on him, hit him in the mister and then disappeared with some random stranger who insisted she teach him to cook... or was it cooch?
We love ourselves an italian whore!
Overall rating of this hot mess of an outing: A++++!
We knew the new generation wouldn't disappoint us!
UPDATE: Bianca Milazzo has been found! She had checked into the wrong hotel and created quite a ruckus when staff wasn't able to produce a room immediately! The manager got some boob service and got her a premier suite. At least someone had a nice night!
